a night for grown ups

yesterday my mother and my grandmother came down for a visit. mom had the day off and she and my grammy decided to pick up a delicious rotisserie chicken, some garlic bread, a potato salad and stay for lunch. it was nice to have them here, the baby was awake but tired and not quite bright-eyed. my mom fed him his morning bottle which includes his vitamin and he fell asleep. she asked when she could take him and e & i both said 'today if you want. have a sleep over.' of course the suggestion and the reality are two different things, but my mom was delighted with the idea. so i packed up all of little c's things, a large supply of frozen breast milk, baby monitors and diapers, his special blankets and a few toys he has taken a shine to and handed him over to his grammy and grampy's care for the night.

once they left, i admit i felt a little bit lost. e, being home until the beginning of next month, and i tidied up a bit, i finally got a shower, and we settled onto the couch to watch our netflix. we decided to make an early dinner and then head out to a local bar for a drink (avoiding the over populated, over drunk watering holes and opting for the quieter and more upscale three tides). getting dressed i couldn't help but smile. a night of adult conversation and an adult beverage outside of these four walls was very welcome. putting on jeans, a nice sweater, my dressy boots, and styling my hair while applying a bit of makeup is something i had forgotten could be enjoyable. despite the cold, the pineapple cosmopolitan was lovely while being sipped over to soft lull of chatter around the bar top. but, alas, my mind could not stray far from parenthood and eventually e broached the subject of our sweet boy and we began to wonder how things were going with my parents. finally the urge was too much and i dialed their number to ask. naturally everything was fine and i bid them goodnight.

after our glasses had emptied, one drink each was enough, we made our way home to snuggle in for the night. though i was able to fall asleep easily, i found myself out of sorts as i did not have a little one to feed and tuck in. waking at 4:00 a.m. as i usually do, i again felt a bit lost as i pumped and went back to sleep. by 9:30 i was awake to pump once more and bide my time until i made the phone call to check in.

now i await his arrival back home and admit that, though loving a little grown-up time, i missed my wee wren very much. it does make me wonder what my life was before him.