sleepless in seaside towns

with 16 days remaining before our due date, i am finding that i have not acquired my final burst of nesting energy everyone keeps mentioning to me. truthfully, i have found i have less energy and a strong desire to sleep my days away. the pitfall to this, however, is that with the desire to sleep comes the brain racing desire to check off my 'before baby arrives' list. though falling asleep is initially not a problem, i find that waking every few hours to run to the bathroom is then followed by a few hours of lying awake, no matter how exhausted, thinking of things left undone and even more of how life will be with our little wren in it. it's the excitement that's been drawing me from my REM cycles to wonder about our little boy. what will he look like? how will he sleep? will he be insistently active or contently mellow? will life completely be upended or will we be able to maintain our flow? what kind of person will he grow up to be and how will we encourage his development?

i think many parents spend time thinking these thoughts and indirectly asking these questions of their children. i don't feel alone in this. i merely feel tired. overpowering any other feeling i could be experiencing is the want of sleep and lack thereof. even naps are short lived or mythical notions. the only options i have left are to accept this as my body's preparation for nightly feedings and fussings and to rest as often as is possible with or without a proper round of REM sleep. so here's to a day spent on our deliciously comfy new couch, indulging in quiet moments of rest and contentment.