life in zoom

yup, i've done it again. i skipped almost an entire year of blogging. it's terrible, right? i wanted to keep this blog for documenting life for my son and yet this entire year just got away from me.

i'll try to zoom in on some details now, as we sit three days away from christmas and oh-so excited for it!

firstly: beaz turned four! can you even imagine? how on earth are we four years into this journey? he had a truly perfect birthday, equipped with family, friends, and a killer "brave knights" medieval birthday party hosted by his nana and myself. thanking my lucky stars that his nana is so creative, too, because she really helped all of my visions come to life for this super fun party.

secondly: we will have a new addition to our family in just 10 short weeks! had i not mentioned that? whoops! in june of this year we got a very welcome little surprise that we honestly weren't entirely expecting. it just happened in a really organic way, as these things should, and left us totally thrilled. our new addition will be another gorgeous boy (i say that because he just will be gorgeous like his big brother. he can't escape dashing good looks in this gene pool..haha). he is yet to be named, of course. that is a huge struggle at this point, but we might be closing in on a name... or maybe not. we really are fighting an uphill battle with this.

i am feeling primarily great at 30 weeks pregnant. the first trimester was sheer misery. i had 24/7 nausea, heartburn, and an exhaustion that might have let me sleep 100 years in a row. i somehow survived it and the entire second trimester was very pleasant. now that i'm into the third it seems to be coming back around again. this weekend i felt like absolute scum at the bottom of a dirty shoe and of course i had to work. today seems better, so i'm hoping it was maybe a passing stomach bug. i am having many more braxton hicks contractions than i ever had with c. seems like my body just knows how to gear up for labor this time around. i had to be induced at 42 weeks with c, and even then he was too stubborn to make his entry naturally. i really have no idea what to expect this time around. i wouldn't have a clue what natural labor feels like without having someone intervene, so here's hoping that i don't really have to know. i'm having a scheduled cesarean this time around (date yet to be set) due to the small facility at our little hospital; they really take precautions so that you have as little risk for complications as possible. since i had one with beaz, my doctor would prefer to do another this time. i'm okay with it. i made my peace long ago that i didn't have a natural birth with beaz. sometimes things can't be helped, like a certain boy who was facing anterior and giving me back labor while his big noggin gets stuck for 14 hours.

we are in full christmas mode now. i even managed, by miracle and determination, to finish all of my christmas crafting and shopping last week! never in the history of me vs the christmas rush has that ever happened before christmas eve. i just have some baking and wrapping to finish and then i am putting these pregnant feet up and enjoying the rest of christmas. c is so excited about everything christmas this year and i am having so much fun watching him wonder at all of the things i grew up loving. i keep a lot of traditions from my childhood alive for him. this was such a huge time of year for us as kids that i am having even more fun than i can describe this year. four is a really great age for imagination and the belief in all things magic at christmas. i keep certain traditions going, like candy canes on the tree to show santa came on christmas eve, my childhood advent calendar to count the days, pajamas on christmas eve. all things my parents did for us that mean so much. i've added a few more things to my traditions now, too. we have our elf on the shelf, gordon, who plays an important role in keeping the excitement going all month, on christmas eve we do a "christmas eve box" with jammies, a christmas movie, hot cocoa and popcorn to cozy up with. we typically make ornaments every year, bake our santa cookies, put them out with milk and carrots for the reindeer, and beaz and i read a lot of christmas stories and sing christmas songs as soon as thanksgiving is over. he's my little christmas elf, as e doesn't really get into the holiday as i do. to think that next year we will have another little boy to celebrate with makes my heart soar!

as i've been typing, the little guy has been active. he is certainly a mover and a shaker. he seems to be hosting a constant dance-off in my belly. the past two days he's been head down/feet up, so i've been able to trace the outline of his little feet with my fingers as he so nicely shoves them into my lungs. whatever his name ends up being, we are very excited to meet him in less than three months. just as before, i am as calm and ready as i was with c. it's just like more things falling rightly into place in our lives.

i wish you all a very merry christmas, happiest holiday season, and a wonderful new year ahead.