Friday, November 26, 2010
proud mother wren
as my dear sweet baby wren slumbers, i find a quiet moment to pause and catch up. in my heart, one song continues to sing loudly over and over again; 'at last, my love has come along.'
two weeks overdue and my doctor spoke the word 'induction.' on november 18th at 5:00 a.m. we were in our birthing suite at the waldo county hospital's women & infant's center. our lovely nurses prepared me for what was to come and set me on my way into labor. e was doing well, as he has originally claimed he would be very nervous, and my mom soon arrived to also be at my side. shortly after, my wonderful doctor came in only to laugh and say 'i thought you would go into labor on your own! usually when i mention the word 'induction' women go into labor on their own from the shear thought of it!' he broke my water and i was quickly on my way. contractions were unpleasant, as my nurse put it 'they call it labor for a reason.' i was able to breathe through them and both e and my mom comforted and coaxed me quietly through them. hours in, i needed some relief and asked for the IV pain medication first. it did not ease contractions or my discomfort, but it did give me a good minute of rest in between them. it was short lived, as the contractions got stronger and fiercer and hours later i was asking to be given the epidural. my body was telling me i was ready to take a break and get some rest in order to be ready for the hardest part-- pushing! an hour later one of the anesthesiologists arrived and had a hard time giving me the epidural. once it was in, i soon discovered it was a failure and relaxation was to be a pipe dream. it managed to numb my legs and hips, but nothing else. my contractions strengthened and began to break in waves one on top of the other. i succumbed to the reality that i was not going to get relief after all. i wrapped my mind around the pain and focused souly on each and every moment of pain, what it's purpose was, and where it was taking me (closer to meeting my baby). the hours ticked by and my doctor came in for another progress check once i was feeling lots of pressure and the urge to push. thinking this was it, the time to begin our finale, he checked me only to report sadly that i was still stuck at 7cm. i had been at 7cm for a few hours and now it was discovered that my wee baby wren was posterior (facing backwards) and stuck in my pelvis. his head was putting pressure on my cervix and causing swelling that was preventing progress and dilation. he offered me two options: continue to labor for a few more hours and see if i finally could get there or have a cesarean. unfortunately, this was fourteen hours into my labor and i was exhausted. my hands shook, my voice was weak, and my mind (though focused) knew this natural labor was not going to happen. i was done and ready to meet our boy. i told this to my nurse and she told me to wait another hour and see what happened. i looked at e and said 'i don't have another hour, i need this now.' e looked and me and said 'i will take care of it.' he left the room and spoke to my doctor, who came back and said we would do it as soon as he got all of the staff ready. half an hour later i was being wheeled into surgery. the issue with the cesarean was that the epidural did not work for me, so they wanted to put me under to perform the surgery. for e and myself, this was the worst news. e took my doctor aside and had a talk with him about our fears and my amazing doctor asked the anesthesiologist to do the spinal block if at all possible. after 20 minutes and discovering a curve in my lower spine, the very talented anesthesiologist had me numb from my chest down. e joined me in the room and moments later he was being told to stand and look over the drape. at 7:50 p.m. out came our beautiful little boy and all e said was 'he's perfect, kristina.' our baby wren was quiet, and finally cried, much to my relief. then he was brought to me, eyes open, no longer crying, and indeed perfect. his face was put next to mine and i rubbed my nose to his nose, kissed him softly and whispered words of love to him. i then looked at e, he gave me a kiss, and i said 'go introduce our little boy to our family.' 7lbs, 15oz, and 20.25 inches long, he had finally arrived.
when i finally held my darling boy, i was overwhelmed by my immediate love for him. he happily and greedily fed and nestled perfectly into my arms, like he had always belonged there.
we have been home for 6 days and little wren is now 8 days old. he eats well, sleeps four to five hours straight in his own bassinet each night, and he's already showing a strong personality. he opens his eyes to look around, though as of yet he can only see shadows, light, and black & white. he's purely amazing from a mother's standpoint, but i know i'm not alone in feeling this way. we celebrated our first thanksgiving with my mother and father and enjoyed a bountiful feast. the night before we even got to spend time with e's mom, who will be known as mima from here on, as she spent the night and thanksgiving morning with us. plenty of visitors greeted baby as my aunt and uncle and cousin stopped at our house before we left for my parents', my grandparents, aunt, and cousin later dropped by my parents', too. turns out, our babe is a popular one.
i cannot say each moment of my new found parenthood has been or will be easy, but i must confess i have loved all of those moments and look forward to those coming in our future days. tears have trickled down my cheeks but a few times today as i allowed myself to acknowledge the love and appreciation i have for my son, my beloved e, and our families & friends.